Smashing Watermelons
by ponyvomit.x
Summary: OneShot// Maybe giving Karin a baseball bat and two crates of watermelons wasn't such a bad idea after all. SuiKa


**Shoot me. I was bored. **

**And SuiKa is love. You may deny it, but you love SuiKa, don't you? ;D**

**Rated T, just to be safe.**

**Now. I want you to go to hypeniated's page and read the last paragraphy-bit. What she says in said paragraph is **_**so true**_**. Stop hating on Karin! **

**Anyway. Never fear, this is just a one-shot. Proper stuff soon. **

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Smashing Watermelons

I hate Fujiwara Karin.

Well, I suppose it's not really hatred, as such. More of a strong dislike.

But I didn't always hate her. When we were in grades one through five, we got on just fine. But then she crossed the line. It was the last month of us being in sixth grade. She took my special box of crayons that I'd 'borrowed' from my older brother, made a fire and _melted them_. She just took the box and tipped each crayon into the flames. And she had the nerve to _laugh_ about it. After that, I didn't think she could get any worse. Apparently, I was wrong. _So _wrong. Like, _two plus two equals five_ wrong.

Two years later, when we were in eighth grade, Karin stole about eighteen-thousand yen's worth textbooks from the school's supply closet and sold them for double their original value. When Principle Tsunade found that all the textbooks were missing and demanded to know who took them, Karin put her hand up and blamed me. She'd said, in her sickly sweet little girl voice, _"Not to be disrespectful to him, but I saw Hozuki Suigetsu near the supply closet the other week. He might have taken them, Principle Tsunade."_

Of course, I got in trouble for it. I was forced to pay for every single missing textbook out of my own pocket. I'd been saving up for a new phone at the time. And while I counted out my money to give to the principle, sat at my desk with selfish tears threatening, Karin stood by me with her arms crossed, annoyingly gorgeous legs folded, and an evil smirk on her cherry colored lips.

Thinking about it, I take back what I said before. I really do hate Fujiwara Karin.

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"Oi! Suigetsu! Turn up the music, would you? I can't hear a damn thing!"

I sighed irritably and put the index finger of my free hand my left ear. Leaning down to turn up the volume of my old stereo with my other hand, I tilt my head up to look at the road. Or, to look at Karin and her annoying friends who happened to be _in _the road. I plugged my other ear to shield my earlobes from the drone of yet another Katy Perry track. Karin put a thumb up at me from the middle of the street before turning back to the water fight she was a participant in.

"Dude, stop being such a baby. They always put up with your taste in music. Hell, you have it up so loud during the day that Karin can't _help _but put up with it," my best friend Uchiha Sasuke chided to my left. He poked me in the arm and flashed his trademark Uchiha smirk. "Lighten up."

"If Karin doesn't like The Beatles, then she can move to another neighbourhood. Or another town. Or another country. Another country would work for me." I pouted, folding my arms across my tee-shirt clad chest. "Besides, not even you like Katy Perry."

"No, I don't, but I'm not being a bitch about it." Sasuke tossed his head in the air, signalling that he was done speaking for at least another five minutes. I parted my lips and let out a long stream of air. I thought of Sasuke as a brother to me, but at times, _damn_, I hated him. This was one of those times. It was also one of those times where I'd have to put up with Sasuke ignoring me, and Karin speaking to me all at the same time. I groaned inwardly as I watched the red-headed demon slip her flip flops off, leaving them at the wooden gate, and pad across my front lawn to where Sasuke and I were sat.

"Karin, can't you speak to your friends instead of me? Because I really don't want to hear you rant about how much you love Johnny Depp." I griped, glaring up at her with what I hoped were scary amethyst eyes. She sighed, rolling her own oddly-colored orbs to the sky above her behind shiny black glasses. Jerking one hip to the side and placing her manicured fingers on her waist, she sighed heavily.

"Geez, why have you gotta jump to conclusions all the time, Sui-_kun_?" Karin droned, emphasising the _kun_ in a fake, cutesy way. "I wasn't going to tell you about Johnny Depp and my desire to flash him my panties."

"Too much information, thanks, Karin." I spat with a shudder. She smirked down at me.

"Ha, that got your attention." She purred, crouching in front of me and replacing her Satanic grin with a bogus child's smile. Big red eyes shone as the corners of her scarlet lips tilted upwards. "Sui-kun, my friends and I were wondering - "

"Enough with the kun."

"Suigetsu, you bastard, my friends and I were wondering…" Karin corrected herself. Suddenly, I liked the honorific a whole lot more. "If you have any watermelons and a baseball bat?"

I stared at her face with a suspicious expression before responding. "Why?"

"Because we want to smash some watermelons, you idiot!" She screeched excitedly. She jumped to her feet and started bouncing up and down on the spot like a preschooler at Disney Land. "So, do you have any?"

"Yes, of course, because I _always _keep watermelons in my house." I said sarcastically, surprised at how smoothly the words were rolling off my tongue. Usually, when I tried to use sarcasm with Karin, her venomous stare would make me screw up and turn the sentence into something along the lines of, _'yeah, well – um, um – 'cuz I…um…your mom!'_

"Well, that's your fault then."

"My fault for what?"

"We're going to the store to get some watermelons." Karin reached down and took my hand, trying with all her strength to pull me upright. She grunted as she tugged harder, adding her other hand to the battle. I glanced desperately at Sasuke, who simply smirked at me. He said nothing, absolutely nothing, but his eyes read, _'hey, you should've known she would want to smash watermelons.'_

Karin let go of my hand, and I tumbled backwards onto the soft emerald green grass. She stared at me, an innocent and hurt look slowly dancing across her face. Taking a step backwards, she shook her head. A few strands of her shocking red hair fell across her face.

"Fine. I'll just go by myself." She feigned a sob and clenched her fist to her lips. "But you know…"

For emphasis, she pulled out a tissue from her shorts pocket and blew her nose.

"When I'm gone, if I get _raped_, I blame you. And the ghost of my virginity will haunt you forever. How would that feel, hm? Tell me, Suigetsu. _HOW WOULD THAT FEEL?_" and with those final words, she turned on her heel and stalked through the gate, head held high. I caught a glimpse of her look back at me to check that I was buying her little diva tantrum. She smirked.

I knew this routine. Any moment now, I'd break down, get up and chase after her like a puppy. Even though, after all these years, I knew her tears were fake, I still couldn't think what I'd do if she really _did _get raped.

Ah, crap. It was happening.

I found myself on my feet and sprinting across the grass, following her. Behind me, I could feel Sasuke's gaze on the back of my head. I knew, at that moment, he was grinning all over his annoying little face.

"Wait, Karin. If you really want me to, I'll come with - " I groaned, grabbing her arm. She whirled around and slapped me across the cheek. Shocked, I looked back at her with a face like thunder.

"What the fuck was that for?" I asked her. She looked at me with a triumphant look. It was then that I realised that she wasn't looking at me. Rather, behind me.

"And that, girls, is how you sucker a guy into following you, and protect yourself from being raped." She explained, placing her fists on her waist. "Now, then, I want you to discuss other means of protection while I'm gone. I'll be back!"

Karin grabbed me by the front of my shirt and started dragging me along the street, her flip flops slapping against the scolding hot concrete of the sidewalk. I glowered at the back of her head, irritated that she'd just used me. Then again, she _did _know that I had zero will power…

"Sorry about that." Karin muttered as we rounded the corner onto the next street. "Didn't mean to slap you so hard."

"It's okay. Didn't hurt that much." I declared with a false grin, revealing my weirdly sharp teeth. Karin laughed out loud, and I frowned. "What's so funny?"

"_Didn't hurt that much?_" she choked on her own laughter as she spoke. "Dude, you should've seen your face! You were about to cry!"

I didn't say a word as we walked through the sliding glass doors of the supermarket. All I did was stare ahead as Karin asked the cashier where the watermelons were with such confidence, and a hint of flirtatiousness. I wondered how anyone could flirt while asking, '_excuse me, but where are the watermelons?'_.

Ten minutes later, I found myself carrying two boxes – one on top of the other – filled with watermelons down the street. I glanced to my left at Karin, who was carrying a paper bag that consisted of two pairs of safety goggles. _'Watermelon could get in your eye, Sui-kun_._' _She'd teased. _'We don't want that to happen, now do we?'_.

"Tell me, Karin." I breathed, struggling under the weight of the boxes. "Why am I the one carrying the watermelons when you were the one who wanted them? And why did I have to pay for them? Aren't you meant to be, oh, I don't know, _rich_?"

"Because you're a man and men are supposed to do all the work." Karin responded loudly, striding a few paces ahead of me and swinging the paper bag by her side. She gave a high-pitched laugh. "Besides. When have you ever seen _me _do a days work?"

Karin was still laughing when we reached my house. I dumped the boxes on the sidewalk by the gate, flexed my arms for a second, then stormed inside to get a crowbar and a baseball bat, cussing under my breath for all ten minutes it took me to find a freaking crowbar.

"Where have you been?" were the first four words I heard when I opened my front door. I narrowed my eyes at Karin and looked at my annoying neighbour from under my eyelids.

"Getting. This. Crowbar." I murmured through gritted pointy teeth. I folded my arms and pouted. "You know. Just like you told me."

"For ten minutes? Whatever, I don't have time to listen to your dumbass excuses." Karin snatched the silver crowbar from my grasp without so much as a word of thanks. She turned and half-skipped, half-ran down the grit-covered path that lead up to my house. When she reached the gate, resting the hand that wasn't holding the crowbar against the wooden railings, Karin turned the upper half of her body to look at me. And she smiled. Not _smirked_. Not _grinned like the devil before seducing Eve. _She _smiled_. It was a somewhat shy smile, and a swear I could see the ghost of a blush creeping onto her cheeks under those shiny black frames. "Do you want to smash watermelons with us?"

Caught off guard by her question, I nodded dumbly and trailed down the pathway after her. She pushed open the gate and held it open as I passed, earning a grateful nod from me.

Moments later, Karin had reverted back to her headstrong, loud, slightly perverted self. She snapped the first crate open in a matter of seconds, and waved the crowbar in the air triumphantly as she loudly told Sasuke and I to start unloading the fruit. Or, in her words, "_UCHIHA! HOZUKI! MOVE THE MELON…uh, MELONS!"_

I scowled at her as I heaved one of the largest watermelons in the crate into my arms and started lugging it over to where Karin's friend Hinata had conveniently set up a table surrounded by newspaper. I smiled warmly at Hinata, who grinned back. We went to the same school, sure, but I'd never really spoken to her much. She seemed like a nice girl, though…

"Hey, Sui-kun!" Karin called out to me. I frowned, turned around, and very nearly turned around again. Karin was balancing on my fence, holding what looked like a bullhorn in her hand and waving her arms around to get my attention. She lifted the bullhorn type thing to her mouth. "Where'd you put the baseball bat?"

Yeah. It was a bullhorn.

Pressing a finger to my ear, I pointed to the lawn, where my old bat from middle school lay rejected in the long grass. Karin glanced over her shoulder, yelled something back at me, and jumped off the fence as easily as any normal person would be able to jump off the edge of the sidewalk. I watched, dumbstruck, as Karin swung the bat over her bare shoulder and grinned at me, eyebrows knitted together.

"Don't you want safety goggles?" I asked, snatching a pair from the bag and holding them out to her. My eyes weren't quite meeting hers. "I mean…you might get watermelon in your eye."

"Eh, I don't wear glasses _just _because of my farsightedness, you know." She shrugged one shoulder, pushing on the bridge of said glasses. I shook my head in disbelief.

"You're crazy."

"Was that your first clue?" she taunted me. "Get out the way, I actually _need_ to smash this melon into hundreds of pieces."

I took a few steps back, and after deciding that just a couple of meters away wasn't a safe enough distance, I jogged over to sit beside Sasuke on the fence.

"She looks pretty happy." Sasuke observed, absent-mindedly munching on a spare slice of watermelon. He offered me the remainders of the slice, and I declined with a shake of my head. "I think it's because of you."

I stared at Karin, who was now mercilessly shattering melon after helpless melon. But she was laughing. Smiling. Having _fun_. I grinned at her, knowing she couldn't see me.

"Hey, Suigetsu!" she suddenly yelled. I jumped, snapping out of my daze, and fell backwards off of the railing. Sasuke sat motionless, still eating his damned watermelon.

"Be careful." He muttered.

"_HOZUKI! GET YOUR LAZY ASS OVER HERE!_" Karin screeched at me, swinging the baseball bat in wide circles above her head. "_OR I WILL BE FORCED TO STAB YOU IN THE FACE!" _

I scrambled up onto my feet, because I knew that Karin really would stab my face, and darted forward to meet her. Rubbing my aching back like an old man, I looked fiercely at her.

"What do you want? Don't tell me you want me to - " Karin held the baseball bat out to me, and gave a scary, yet damn hard-to-say-no-to snarl. "Oh, no."

"Come along." She commanded, her voice higher than usual. "It's fun."

"But you destroyed most of the watermelons already."

"No, we still have another crate." She corrected me, tapping her foot against the second crate that sat untouched at her feet. "I want you to try out a new game I thought up."

"Let me guess," I moaned. "it's called, _'Let's Steal Any Means Of Protection From Suigetsu and Beat Him Half To Death With A Baseball Bat'_. Or with a watermelon. Because you of all people, Karin, could find a way to kill a person with a melon."

"I could, that much is true. But no, this game is much better. Melon Baseball." She beamed and folded her arms tight across her well-developed chest.

Wow. Original name.

"A friend, but in your case it would be me seeing as you have no friends, throws a watermelon in the air as high as it'll go, then run away. Then you, or whoever's playing, will be stood under the melon, and you have to hit it before it reaches the floor. It's like a piñata, only it's moving and you're not blindfolded." She hesitated, then winked suggestively. "Yet."

"Ugh, fine. I'll take first shot. Just throw the stupid melon." I muttered, snatching the bat from her and gripping it in both hands. Karin grabbed a decent sized watermelon from the remainders of the first load, and stood a few feet away from me. She bent down slightly, swung the melon between her legs, then swung it up into the air. It spun as it ascended into the air, and Karin laughed lightly, clearly shocked at her achievement. She jumped back as the melon started falling back down.

I hit the melon and it shattered.

"Awesome! Good job, Sui-kun." Karin praised me in a voice that reminded me of how my mother used to speak to me when I was six. "Here, feed me some watermelon."

"Are you crazy?" I asked. "Why would I do that?"

"Because I," she said proudly and loudly. "Am great."

"If you're so great, then why are all your friends gone?" I asked, pointing over her shoulder. She froze, ruby eyes wide, and spun around on the spot. I wasn't lying. Each and every one of her friends had dispersed, obviously bored by Karin being so wrapped up in entertaining me, rather than them. Stuck up brats.

"W-Who needs them?" Karin murmured, embarrassed. "Anyway. Feed me."

I bent down and grabbed a large, juicy chunk of fruit from the 'newspaper floor'. I put it in my own mouth, and Karin frowned, mouth wide open in shock.

"Is that what you call feeding me, Sui-bastard?" she asked, putting both hands on her hips. I shook my head, not chewing the red melon.

"No. But this is." I bent down and kissed her, slipping half the watermelon chunk through her lips as they met. I'd only kissed her for about four seconds, but when I pulled away, Karin's cheeks were as red as her hair and eyes. I smirked. "Wow. I got _the _Fujiwara Karin flustered."

She gulped down the melon. "Y-you…kissed…m-me."

"You catch on fast, don't you?"

"_You_. Kissed. _Me_."

I nodded. Karin blinked up at me, red orbs sparkling and mouth slightly open.

"I-I see. Um…" she fiddled with her fingers before kissing me again. I could taste watermelon on her lips, and I smiled as I kissed her back.

At that very moment, watermelon became my new favourite fruit.

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**N'aww. Cute much?**

**Please review! **


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